I've now been in Paris for just over two months, which I honestly cannot believe. My time here is going so fast, it's unreal, and I'm pleased to say that I've managed to fit a fair amount in in that time.
Before you go on a year abroad, it's usual to talk to the people who've done it before, and they gush about how wonderful a year they had and how they wish they could do it again. Or, as in my case, they tell you that it's unbelievably hard work and that they didn't have a lot of time for fun, which was not very reassuring, I can tell you.
So at the two month mark, what's the truth?
Life wise, I'm quite happy. Paris is a great, if very expensive, city to live in. It's almost impossible to get bored - the Louvre itself merits at least three visits to be considered 'done' properly, and that's not even scratching the surface, not even a little bit. [I'll admit, though, that I still prefer London and I can't wait to get back to the Big Smoke next September]
I've met loads of new people, even if they are practically all English and none of them French, I get to scoff freshly baked croissants and baguettes as often as I please and being in a major transport hub, I've practically got the whole of Europe on my doorstep.
So far, so gushy.
Unfortunately, the people in the year above me at Queen Mary weren't exaggerating.
I would never go so far as to say that in England, we're spoon fed, because that wouldn't be fair. We still have to do all our own reading and research etc. But I feel a whole lot more supported there than I do here.
To some degree, that's an element of feeling thrown in the deep end. The tutorials are supposed to provide some of that support, but I'm having trouble getting much out of them because the speed at which people speak is sill a huge issue for me, and they also count towards my final grade, unlike in London, which adds quite a lot of pressure to a session in which i'm supposed to become less stressed and confused rather than the other way around! For instance, in my obligations tutorial this week we are going to be subjected to an 'interrogation' which I can only pray won't be as ominous as it sounds!
In any case, the tutorials are only available in 2 of my 5 subjects. The other 3 are lectures only, which means there is next to no additional support if you don't understand something. Lecturers here come in, speak, put down their microphone and leave. The door is banging behind them before you've got time to register that the lecture is over, let alone anything else. Questions just don't get asked.
And my nice, English education just hasn't prepared me for the strict formula that essays have to follow here, or any of the strange nuances of the French system. For example, at home, we structure our essays, obviously, but we basically do that however we want. 'Creativity' is in the mark scheme. Not so here. Here, everyone follows the same, strict structure, no deviations, no creativity. Your opinion is irrelevant; the only thing that matters is the law, and that's something I just can't seem to wrap my head around. The other issue, of course, is that I'm used to a common law system, not a civil law system.
So whilst life is quite fun and wonderful, study is, quite frankly, the bane of my life at the moment, although I suppose the upside to that should hopefully be that my final year will look like a piece of cake in comparison.
That's not to put anyone off of doing a year abroad, not all all. Instead, it's something to be aware of so you don't get caught out and feel as stressed as I do right now. For instance, I can't stress enough how important it is for your listening skills to be up to scratch. The lectures are the one place at the moment I feel somewhat productive.
Tonight, I've been venting over FaceTime to my Mum, Dad and Brother, who have all been appropriately sympathetic and helpful, and this post is much more positive now than it would have been if I had written it three hours ago! I know I'll get there. Everyone always says that the first three months are the hardest, and the first three months have been hard, it's true, but I wouldn't change my decision to come to Paris. I do wish I'd been a bit more prepared, but that's water under the bridge now. I can only go up from here!
I've been staying in a fair amount lately trying to stay on top of my rapidly snowballing workload, and I haven't managed to cross much more off of my things to do list [which I've updated and will be re-posting about very soon] but I'm going to make sure I get out and about this weekend. I'm sure I'll focus better if I manage to switch off for a few hours!
So until next time, when I'll hopefully be feeling significantly more positive than I do tonight [hey, a depressing post or two was sure to pop up eventually] -
Vicky xx
